Astrology section: What boxes does someone have to tick before you consider dating them?

Can you explain to me what the planets mean and how do I find out which one I have? I've been trying to figure it out but I can't. I'm a Leo and the guy definitely has to be hilarious. Not just funny but hilarious to the point where I almost pee on myself. He doesn't necessarily have to be smart but he has to have common sense, as long as he has a big heart that will love me pionately ^_^. He also has to be attractive and he WILL treat me right. I'm not too particular on hair color or anything but I don't like a bald head or hair that is as long or longer than mine (GROSS!). He has to dress like he cares about himself. He doesn't have to be rich but can't be homeless either. I don't care if he wants to be an artist or a lawyer just as long as we can make it work. I DON'T want him to be perfect, I have enough of that for the both of us (JK) but I really don't want him to be like super omega perfect and wonderful and like a prince and all that crap. I want him to be human and make mistakes and have faults just like me and everyone else :). I think that's about it.